How to Change When Something Big In Your Life Is Not Working

Is there something in your life that is just not working? A relationship, your job, your lifestyle? Maybe your health? You know it when something’s not working. You have a constant uneasiness about it. You know something needs to change, but for some reason you keep avoiding it – staying busy instead.

Perhaps the thought of change makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you know it will be difficult. Maybe you don’t know where to start. And so you find rational excuses like “I don’t have time to change,” “it won’t work,” or just flat out pushing it under the rug in your mind. But that little bugger won’t go away and will keep bothering you like a pebble in your shoe until you address it.

There’s a way to make big changes that won’t totally disrupt your life.

Take It Slow and Steady

Often, when it comes to change, we think we have to eat the whole elephant at once. But there’s a better way: one bite at a time. This requires:

Patience – to stick with taking your time to change.
Openness – to learn new solutions or tweaks to your approach over time.
Consistency – in your new routines, habits, choices.
Belief – an unwavering positive focus on the results you know you will be achieving over time.

My Story

I encountered the need to change in my life this year. My main issue was health. I was forced to face it because I had cancer. It was a learning journey. I researched over time different things I needed to change. I allowed myself time to make small changes over time. Once one thing was in place, I researched the next step and I simply addressed them in sequence over time building on each new healthy habit.

Over 10 months I’ve made lots of changes to diet, exercise, detoxing my body, and most recently “detoxing” my emotions and boosting my spirit. I made a decision early on in the process to take it slow and make changes over time. It has been so successful that I want to share with you the basic formula I used so that if you have things you need to change you can begin and slowly over time claimed the life you really want.

How To Change Something Big In Your Life

Identify – What’s the problem? Write it down and flesh it out on paper or with a friend. Look at the problem from different angles. For instance, maybe you’re not happy in your relationship or at your job. Instead of automatically thinking “I need a new job” or “I need a new partner” consider what you are bringing or not bringing to that situation. Is part of the problem in your approach, your effort level, your communication clarity, or not understanding what you real goals are? Then also look at it the other way too. Does this job have what you are really looking for? Does it allow you to have meaning in your life? Do you find value and joy in it? If not, maybe it is time to seek a new job. Same with a partner.
Identify – What are the steps? What is the most important thing you need to do to start? What other things will you need to do but can wait to work on? Set those aside and work on the most important one first. Then the second and so on. Be patient.
Your mindset – know why you want to change. What is the bright future you are envisioning?
Seek solutions – research solutions to your problem.
1. Read books and articles.
2. Join Facebook groups on your issue.
3. Seek out mentors or coaches.
4. Keep learning as you take action.
Go inside.
1. Utilize meditation or simple quiet time to reflect on your situation in a state of peace and calm – always assuring yourself that all will be okay no matter what happens. (Because you will!) Trust yourself.
2. Ask your intuition for guidance. Which path should I take? Listen for the wise voice inside your head during your quiet time. Find your center, your truth, the path that is right for you.
Nourish new empowering beliefs. As you discover new answers to problems you may uncover limiting beliefs that you’ve held and simultaneously discover new beliefs that make more sense for you, that empower you. A good technique for getting at these limiting beliefs (which can be unconscious until you investigate) is called tapping or EFT (emotional freedom technique). Here is a great book to get familiar with this technique. The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living by Nick Ortner. Find ways to reinforce these new beliefs daily.
Act – take action. Start small. One step per day or per week. Utilize the strength that will come from your new mindset. (step #6) Build new habits over time.
1. Eliminate activities that haven’t fulfilled you to help make time for change activities. (Such as TV or aimless web surfing)
2. You may even set aside valuable activities (such as hobbies) for a period of time in order to learn new things, and establish new habits, or take actions that are necessary to help you initially change direction.
Keep learning. Even while you are changing and you think you’ve learned everything you need to know about your situation keep the channels open for continued learning. Having an open mind will allow you to use new information to your benefit.