Is there something from your past, that you did or didn’t do, that really bugs you?
Do you find yourself beating yourself up over it?
Even if you say no, think about this: Is there something that you have wanted to accomplish for a while now, but you just haven’t done it? Why haven’t you done it? Could it be that you are so angry with yourself for letting so much time pass? Could that anger be blocking you from moving forward?
Whether you realize it or not, if you are hating yourself for something in your past, that is going to block your ability to be happy today and to realize the future you want.
Here’s the Good News: You can change your future starting TODAY!
The Regret Problem
In order to solve the problem we need to understand the problem. When there is something that we regret from our past what we really want is to change the past. But we CAN NOT change the past. This is the crux of the dilemma. We can’t change the past and we need to accept this. But we continue to hold onto the hope that we can change the past every time we beat ourselves up over it.
The time that you spend hating yourself and calling yourself names in your head is time that could be spent on building a better future. The next time you think about your regret, listen to your internal voice.
The Regret Solution
1. Name the regret. (example: I wish I did _______. or I wish I didn’t do __________. I wish ________ didn’t happen.)
2. Accept that you can’t change the past. Write down this statement. “I can not change the past. I can not change [my regret]. But I can change my future one day at time starting today.”
3. Decide what you want to happen in the future. Choose the one really important thing you want to change. Write it down in simple terms. (examples: I want to be happy. I want to accomplish ____________. I want to have a positive relationship. I want a career doing _______. I want to become __________. I want to feel healthy. I want to become a great salesperson.)
4. Ask the Power Question each day. “What can I do today that moves me towards the future I want?”
5. Take action early in the day. If your goal is important then give it priority by working on it the first chance you are able each day. Do a little bit first thing in the day and over time it will get done. Your chores can wait! Remember this example: If you wanted to write a book, and you wrote just one page each day, by the end of the year you would have a 365 page book! A little bit each day really adds up if you consistently work on it.
6. Change your self talk. Write down your new empowering mantra for yourself. Practice saying it out loud and in your head often! (example: I am a life-long runner. I make the best choice I can in any given moment. I choose actions that foster a good relationship. My little steps will get me to my desired career. Each day I am becoming a little healthier.)
Slow and steady does win the race. And it’s actually a long race. And that’s how we should look at life. We shouldn’t try to rush the good things we want. The attaining of those good things should be woven joyously into our good life each day. We need to enjoy the journey to stay on track for our goals. Most of our days are spent on the journey, not at the destination, so you should chose to enjoy the “travels.”
If you miss a day working towards your goal, remember: This Day, This Moment is Where You Have the Power to Change and Create Your Future. So just start there and leave the past where is belongs, in the past.
Here’s to your bright future! What will you choose today?
Please share your journey with us in the comments!
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