Relationship Gold: How to Keep a Relationship Like New

Certainty = Security = Good

Certainty = Same-Old-Thing = Boring = Bad

Little Surprises = Something New = Exciting = Good

We want to feel safe in our relationships. We want safety on all levels: emotional, physical, spiritual, etc.  We also crave things that are new.  Over time, in our relationships we start to take for granted all the good things about the other person.

We get caught up in life and don’t take the time to do special things for each other. Sometimes this is because we think that it will take too much time, energy, or even resources (like money).

Here is a very simple way to add newness to your relationship. It takes little time, energy, and it’s free.

The little surprise that will keep your relationship like new is

(drumroll please……)


Kindness is always refreshing. It can be extraordinarily surprising as well, especially when it is unexpected. And kindness is heartwarming.

When we first meet a friend, neighbor, colleague, or new lover, we are exceptionally kind. Kindness where we start new relationships. We give the benefit of the doubt. We forgive easily. We have low expectations. We reserve harsh judgments.

We are kind.

And relationships bloom from that starting point.

But then we get complacent. We become impatient. We judge harshly. We see only the annoying things. We dig in our heels into arguments. And so on.

So. Where can you insert a little kindness today to add surprise and renew a relationship?

Ways to Be Kind

Here are a few ways you can be kind.

  1. Pay a compliment. Simple. Genuine.
  2. Be the first to say sorry.
  3. Show understanding and compassion, especially where you have shown resentment and judgment in the past.
  4. Hugs and kisses.
  5. Give a massage with no request for reciprocation.
  6. Show patience where you usually are impatient.
  7. Tell the person what you admire or respect or love about them.

Kindness is relationship gold.

I’d love to hear your ideas on this as well!

Please share your ideas in the comments below!

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Creative Commons License photo credit: Selma90

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