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Top 10 Tips for Britney Spears and Anyone Who Is Feeling Lost in Life

Britney Spears comeback

The media has been having a field day with Britney Spears for the last few years and most especially over the last year. I’m not here to add to the gossip. I wish Britney all the best. What Britney is going through, under the media microscope, many of us also experience. We live through similar situations in our lives where we feel lost, can’t find our compass, and don’t know where to turn. When that happens there can be a lot of frantic frenzy like a puppy who’s just been let out of his crate. The puppy runs around and around, running into things, jumping up on people, and acting pretty crazy. Until he gets all his energy out. Only then is the puppy ready to listen to the guiding voice of his owner.

This happened to me a little bit in my early 20’s when, upon entering the real world, I needed to figure out where I was going. Being scared, I clung onto people, some of whom did not have my best interests at heart. I had some anxiety attacks and thought my world was caving in, when in reality, my body was trying to tell me to get some help. Over time I sought out the help of people who always loved me, my family. I learned about anxiety attacks and how harmless they really are and how easy they are to overcome.

So for Britney Spears and anyone else who feels lost, here are the things that helped me get back on track.

1. Slow Down and Stop Running Away. Trying to bury your problems underneath the pursuit of pleasure will not make them go away. Yes, you’ll feel good in the moment when you dive into chemicals, wild experiences, watching endless TV, new relationships, and sex, but every time the pleasure ends you will be right back where you started. The problems will still be there, still unresolved, and you’ll be looking for the next hedonistic experience to drown it out.

2. Let Go of Fear. If you are afraid to get off the vicious cycle described above, know that you can do it. You can handle it. Know that there is more than enough strength inside you. For many people, turning over their fear to God, a Higher Power, or to the Universe is a very powerful way to let go of fear. Another way is to imagine you are a child in your mother’s arms trusting her to take care of anything that comes along. Feel what that is like to release fear and to trust completely. Now do the same thing, but imagine being cradled by yourself. Feel and trust in your strength to handle anything in your life.

3. Let Go of the Notion That a Stormy Life is Romantic. Life is already stormy enough. You’ll have plenty of things in your life to keep it interesting. What you don’t want is factors that add unnecessary volatility to your life. Otherwise you’ll find yourself on the never ending cycle of chasing a high to heal your lows. See if you can identify what those factors are so you can begin to eliminate them one by one.

4. Return to the People Who Love You. These are the people you might be afraid will say “I told you so.” They might and they might not. Don’t worry about that. If there is any sense that someone has an agenda to exploit you then that is not the right person to go to. You want to go to the people who would be by your side when all the chips are down, when you are sick, and when you are penniless. Let your pride go and feel the relief of doing that. Go be loved. This means people who will listen to you, be with you, and support you.

5. Ask for Help. Don’t think you are burdening people. Don’t worry about people telling you “I told you so.” Don’t think you have to do work things out all on your own. Ask the people who love and support you for help. And don’t be afraid to ask a lot. Don’t worry. Pretty soon, once you’re feeling strong again, you won’t need to ask for as much help. But the good thing is you will have developed a very important habit of not being afraid to ask for help when you really need it.

6. Know Why You’re Trying to Change. Think of all the bad things in your life right now: the anxiety, the hangovers, the worry, the emotional turbulence and so on. Imagine how great life will be with all these difficulties eliminated from your life. “But,” you say, “I like the partying. I like chasing new relationships. I like the fast pace.” Changing your life doesn’t mean it will be without pleasure. It just means that you will be seeking a life that is more stable and less volatile. When you find purpose in your life and start taking care of yourself, you will have much more pleasure than you have today. You’ll still be able to laugh wildly, to do exciting things, to have fun, to have special romantic relationships, and so on. But it will all be in a way that supports a stable life. Stay focused on moving towards a better life and away from your current stormy life.

7. Find a Life Coach to Guide Your Life Planning. Purchase Anthony Robbins “Get the Edge” CD’s or Andrew Matthews tapes (my favorite self-help author) and start the fun activity of daydreaming what you want to do in your life. What is important to you? Start some life goal planning either on your own if you can or find someone who can walk you through the process. Planning your goals is fun. Go for it!

8. Take Baby Steps. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Change takes work and time. Go super slow. Be kind to yourself. Whenever you feel frustration emerging, remember the mantra “Go Slow.” Think about what is really important. Don’t worry about small things. Just take care of yourself. This will help break your knee-jerk reaction of diving into things that aren’t good for you whenever you are feeling low.

9. Exercise Daily. Get outside and either walk or jog everyday. Alternate listening to music and listening to your own thoughts. Use that time to enjoy nature and let go of your problems. It’s also a good time to plan solutions for your goals. Exercise makes people happier. It helps relieve anxiety. It makes you feel strong, which you are! Exercise is a great way to tap into your inner strength that is always available whenever you choose to plug into it!

10. Get Involved in Something Outside Yourself. When I was having anxiety in college, my campus job making sandwiches made me feel so good. I was too busy to worry about anything. It got my blood flowing and it stopped my brain from re-treading those worry paths over and over again. So find something to do that will keep you very busy for a period of time everyday or every other day. You could try volunteer work, a new hobby, a book club or some other social group. Just pick one and do it. And remember #5, ask for help if you need a jump getting started.

Wishing you, Britney, and all those who are going through a tough transition, much peace and success on your journey!

Please Share!

Were you ever lost? How helped you the most to get back on track? All comments big and small are very welcomed!

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Extreme Makeover: Blog Edition

My Lucky Day!

I recently won a blog redesign from the world famous author of The Thinking Blog, Ilker Yoldas. I wrote this review of her blog, The International Woman of Mystery, to win this fabulous makeover.

And you are looking at the results. Here is the before and after:

           

This gifted designer also created a streamlined and eyecatching favicon  for the Life Learning Today blog that you should see in your browser tabs and address bar.

Other Winners

I am honored to have won because many other great bloggers competed in this contest. You can read about the honorable mention and runner-up winners in the What Do You Think post.

Promote Your Blog

YOU could be the next winner. Ilker’s re-design contest is ongoing with new winners on a regular basis. Click here to learn how to enter this contest. If you are one of the the winners you will gain a very valuable link from a site which is highly ranked on Technorati. The Thinking Blog is currently ranked 877 out of the millions of blogs in the universe!

World Class Designer

If you have graphic design needs, I highly recommend hiring Ilker Yoldas. She is very detail oriented, a computer whiz (just check out what she has done with the Blogger template on her site!), a quick study, and a pleasure to work with. Thank you, Ilker for your great design!

Please share your thoughts on the new design in the Comments! Thanks!

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International Woman of Mystery: Ilker Yoldas and The Thinking Blog

Inspiring Blog Inspiring Author

There is a site that inspires me and it is called “The Thinking Blog.” It is authored by Ilker Yoldas. This blog inspires me to write my best for my blog. The Thinking Blog provides “Thinking Fuel” for your brain, which is similar to what I want to bring to my readers, “Learning Fuel” – to borrow a phrase. The posts are diverse, well researched and make an impact on you. I am also inspired by Ilker and her positive, friendly, good-hearted nature which I believe is genuine. I am inspired by her success story in gaining a very solid readership in just 3 months, but I believe that her success directly stems from her superb content and her positive nature.

TheThinkingBlog

Posts of Note

I have yet to read all of The Thinking Blog, but that wouldn’t be easy as she posts religiously every day, which means after 3 months, she has at least 90+ interesting posts to choose from in categories such as: arts, cars, computers, creative, design, games, health, music, sports, technology, and more. A couple of posts that demonstrate her well researched, well-thought out content are: The Cult of Apple-Part 1 and Microsoft Substitutes. These are two of her longer posts. The Cult of Apple-Part 1 is a well thought out examination of the merits and fallacies of blindly following Apple (without being negative or disrespectful). Microsoft Substitutes is about all the cool open source computer goodies she uses with links to where to get them. In her posts, Ilker makes good use of including videos, diagrams and other visuals to relay good food for thought. Oh and of course you won’t want to miss her most popular post, Support Topless Women.

Designer Extraordinaire

Ilker is a designer and a good one. Here are 2  links to some of her work: Her website redesign and John Chow redesign idea. Of course there are many more examples in her blog. If you need to hire a freelance designer for your website, she is available. And of course you must check out her Free 2007 Calendar giveaway that showcases her beautiful photography.

Mystery Author

So why do I call her the International Woman of Mystery. Well it is because none of us, her readers, really know her. In fact we don’t even know if she is a man or a woman. I’ve seen her readers refer to her both as “he” and “she.” The avatar that she uses is a picture of Natalia Oreiro, a popular Latin Grammy-nominated Uruguayan singer and actress. She started by using the avatar as a test, and when she tried to go back to her alien fetus avatar, her readers demanded the Natalia avatar back.. She either lives in Turkey or is Turkish, but seems to be very American. Again another mystery. With every post we learn a little more about Ilker, like connecting the dots in the stars to form a constellation. I believe that her mystery is partially what keeps us coming back for more. With each post another clue is revealed. It’s a little bit like a reality blog, although the focus on herself is not Ilker’s aim. Her aim is to invite us to think along with her on the subjects that fascinate her.

One to Watch

Ilker has amassed a large community of readers. She claims to not be interested in “traffic or SEO or nothing like that,”  and also she “never thought of making money with this blog.” She claims it is “Just another hobby. Time left over from studying, sports, and hanging out with friends, this is what I enjoy doing. Its some serious fun!” (My guess is that she doesn’t sleep with all her activities both offline and online. How do you do it Ilker?) However, by design or by intuition she promotes her blog well and in doing so she has gained much blogging success.  As of this writing, she is ranked the 5th most popular community on MyBlogLog, and her Technorati Rank: is  8,646 (581 links from 360 blogs) which is excellent. UPDATE: Technorati Rank is now: 1,281 (1,943 links from 1,213 blogs)! That’s a jump of 7000 places! Wow!

Her Secret

The key to her success? She blogs with honor, her content is high quality, and she keeps us coming back for more because we all want to know this positve person a little better than yesterday. Congrats Ilker! Keep inspiring us all!

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Hold On Tight to Your Children. Angelina Jolie is Coming!

angelina-jolie-family.jpg

Angelina Jolie just adopted a child in Vietnam. This brings her total to four and she shows little signs of stopping.

She is collecting children. Her desire to create a family where each country is represented is unstoppable. Maybe she’ll want to create a subset of her family where each state in the US is represented.

Of course I’m joking around here. Angelina seems to be doing good for others who are in great need. She sets an example of charity work that we should all strive to emulate in some way. More power to her and her growing family!

……but just in case, keep an eye on your kids!

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