Can’t Sleep at Night? Here’s What to Do
Emotions, Featured, Healthy Living, How To, Solving Problems April 9th, 2008
photo by Andy G
It’s 3:28am. You’re wide awake. You toss and turn, but you can’t sleep. You want to sleep, but you’re mind and body are not cooperating. What should you do?
Physical Causes of Sleeplessness
There are a many possible causes for waking up in the middle of the night and being unable to fall back to sleep. It could be physical such as muscle aches, muscles tension, need to go to the bathroom, you left the TV on, your partner is snoring, the dog is snoring, you had too much caffeine or alcohol today, and on and on. For these we can usually figure out the solution:
- do some light stretches for muscle aches
- take some aspirin/Tylenol/Advil/etc if pain is keeping you awake
- move to a different bed
- turn off the TV
- get up and do something until you’re tired enough to fall back asleep
Mental Causes of Sleeplessness
When you’re worried about something, that can be a real bugaboo. If you’ve got something on your mind, it can be hard to sleep. Many times you may not even be aware that you’re worried, much less what you’re worried about. But, in most cases, you will need to address the problem or you probably won’t get back to sleep anytime soon. So what should you do? Follow these steps to relieve your mind of worries and get back to sleep. (Yes, even tough guys like my Dad: Get in touch with your feelings and you’ll sleep better!)
1. Signs from our Dreams. If you woke up from a dream, think about it for a moment. What was going on in the dream? What do you think each part represents? Is there something you are afraid of, worried about, or a problem you need to solve?
2. What’s on Your Mind? Whether you had a dream or not, ask yourself,
- What’s bothering me?
- What problem do I need to solve?
Maybe you are worried about your health or a loved one’s health. Maybe there is an issue at work that you’ve been avoiding. Maybe you’ve been in an argument with your spouse or a good friend. Or perhaps you’re just feeling scared of dying. (Night time has a pesky way of doing that sometimes.) Or it might just be that your to-do list is so daunting it’s waking you up at night. Whatever it is don’t be afraid to identify it and label it. Thinking about it is not going to make your fears materialize. Not thinking about it is going to keep you from sleeping. Figure it out and you’ll back on your way to some restful zzzz’s.
3. Pen, Paper, & Solutions. You’re awake anyway, so flip on a light and grab a notebook and pen. Write down the issue that is on your mind. And then write down action steps you can take to resolve your issue..
- For problems, write down the steps you will start to take tomorrow. If you don’t know where to begin, write down that you will enlist someone to help you.
- For fears, write down the fear. Write down why it is scary. Write down any action steps you can take to alleviate your fears. If it is something that is unavoidable, write down reason why you are strong enough to handle this. If you have to fake it, then do so! Come up with a “strength mantra” that you’ll use to fall back asleep. Some suggestions are “I am strong” or “I am calm” or “I turn it over to God/Universe/Fate.”
4. Stretch and Breathe. Once you have your issue worked out, do some soothing simple stretches either in bed or on the floor. A great one to do is the child’s pose. Sit on your knees and fold forward with arms outstretched. You will feel a wonderful release in your arms, shoulders, and back. After that do any stretches that you sense would feel good. Then lay down and take several long slow breaths in and out. Breathe in for a count of 8, hold for 8, and breathe out for a count of 16. This will help slow down your body and mind.
5. Mantra. Lay down in a comfortable position in your bed, and use your “strength mantra” or some other calming, soothing mantra to help you sleep. Here are some good ones:
- Mmmmmmm
- Om
- Ahhhh
- So Sleepy
For some people saying a particular prayer, such as “Hail Mary’s” can be very helpful with falling asleep. The idea is to quiet your mind by focusing on a simple word or your breath. Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. Sleep will come. Let your thoughts be like clouds in the sky. Just watch them go by without attachment. Keep returning to your mantra and your breath.
6. When All Else Fails. If you can’t fall asleep after a long period of time, consider getting up and starting to work on your solutions. If you have too much energy, then it makes sense to get up and do something with your time. Follow your instincts about what you should do. Don’t worry about losing sleep for one night. You can handle this.
Prevention is the Best Medicine for a Good Night’s Sleep
To ensure a good night’s sleep in the future, consider these tips.
- Take it easy on the caffeine. Either eliminate it or limit to morning only. The effects of caffeine last for 9 hours, so you do the math.
- Have a bedtime ritual that is calming. You could read before bed, plan your day for tomorrow, write in your journal, meditate, listen to soothing music, or anything else that helps your mind to slow down.
- Turn off the TV at least 30 minutes before bedtime. TV is a stimulant so establish a routine that helps you turn it off. You’ll fall asleep better.
- Listen to your body. If you feel tired, go to bed. Don’t torture your self by not getting enough sleep.
- Listen to your mind. If there is something on your mind before bed time, write about it in a notebook or talk to someone about it. Come up with solutions that you can work on tomorrow.
Please Share!
Do you have any sleeping tips that work for you? We’d love to hear them! All comments big and small are very welcomed!
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April 10th, 2008 at 1:15 am
Great post!
I used to have problems sleeping at night caused by many different things, (most of them are listed in your post).
The way I found to clear the constant problem was to change my wake up time. I used to either get up whenever I felt like it or when my alarm went up for work. Because of this my body could never get in a set pattern of sleep.
For the last year I have gotten up at 6am whether I need to or not. This have given me a much better sleeping pattern. I don’t find I am awake in the middle of the night, I sleep better, I have more hours in the day and I get to watch the sunrise every morning!
April 10th, 2008 at 5:05 am
There are really good advices. I know from first hand experience.
April 10th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Nice advices. But I prefer pills anyway.
April 11th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
I usually just lie there cursing at the fact I can’t fall asleep, haha. These tips are prety good, I think that the most practical is to get up and read or do something until you are actually tired.
April 14th, 2008 at 6:14 am
I ll try tonight, why i feel sleepy in the day but active during night? Crazy!
April 14th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I was agreeing with this article (I do the pen and paper exercise a lot), until I got to the mantra part. I’m sure I will give it a shot sometime, but it is the most outside the box out of those all.
April 15th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Let me give another idea. Wake up early in a morning. Do really hard work the whole day. Don’t take a nap in daytime. Take heavy food in dinner. Doing all these will certainly make you sleepy and you will have no problem in sleeping. This done once will put your whole chain ion the right place. Try it. Thanks.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Excellent advice! I never considered the pen-and-paper strategy; I’ll use it next time I’m laying in bed awake, with my mind racing.
I also find making sure the bedroom temperature is cool enough is important for sound sleep.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Nice post, I like it..and I’ll definitely try some of those things next time I can’t sleep.
How about waking up early in the morning? Do you have any advice on that?
That’s my Achilles’ heel. I can’t stop myself from turning the alarm off and going back to bed. Maybe that will change if I start going to sleep earlier.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:52 am
I have to give this a try. After a motor vehicle accident in November 2007, I was diagnosed with a condition called tinnitus. It’s a constant ringing & buzzing in my ear. I’ve tried some of these things, but there are somethings here that I didn’t think about.
Thanks for these.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I’ve had some problems recently with sleeping. I found most of my problems were relieved by exercising.
The days I exercise, I sleep better.
Also, planning the next day and reading a fiction book before turning off the light usually help me.
April 16th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Fantastic information!
I do not believe that I have ever slept a night without waking up at least 3 times….is this normal? I will try some of the listed steps and see what comes of it.
Mark Salinas, MN
April 17th, 2008 at 9:23 am
I will try to apply what is written on this article. Sometimes I felt sleepy but I can’t sleep even when Im sleepy.
I will print this article, thanks for posting.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Mantra is really a great technique, I have used it and it works.
April 18th, 2008 at 5:50 am
Some times we face lots of problems while sleeping. When ever I’m tired, I go fast asleep but otherwise I sleep sleep in my sense. I get up when ever I feel like.
April 18th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Limiting the caffeine consumption to the morning has helped my sleep issues.
I think the information in the post is great!
Mark Salinas, MN
April 24th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Can’t sleep? here is what I do. I never take sweets or anything sweet before sleeping and if i still have trouble sleeping a nice warm glass of milk always puts me to sleep., you should try it as some of the oldest sayings are sometimes the best.
April 24th, 2008 at 4:43 am
There are really good advices and how nice baby
April 25th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
@Faraz - good tips! Old wives tales usually pan out to be useful today for sure! Thanks for sharing!
April 25th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
@Mark - thanks! I love caffeine but I have to not drink it because it causes sleeplessness and crankiness, both of which I don’t want.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
@Mark - I wake up a lot too. I guess it’s normal if it’s not interfering with the quality of your rest. I think that’s a good measure.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
@Barry - thanks for commenting. I wish you luck with the tinnitus.
April 26th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Great post and good advice. I hate when I wake up in the middle and cant get back to sleep. The only benefit from it is that the next night I sleep like a rock.
Sometimes, replaying a movie in my head that I have seen a lot helps me to get back to sleep.
Marc
April 28th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
A nip of brandy before bed time usually does the trick for me. lol
May 10th, 2008 at 1:24 am
im insomniac! can you help? but here is what I do. I never take sweets or anything sweet before sleeping and if i still have trouble sleeping a nice warm glass of milk always puts me to sleep., you should try it as some of the oldest sayings are sometimes the best.
May 14th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Hi agentsully,
I usually don’t have problems sleeping. I just do work until I’m knocked out.
Exercising helps a lot too.
Cheers,
Jag
June 3rd, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Well, the guide was good and the best part was the photo of the cute baby. The baby seems to be trying to sort out the problems of his sleeplessness - that is so sweet1
June 7th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
@Netbobz - thanks for the support!
June 14th, 2008 at 2:27 am
If I can’t sleep I go and get a piece of bread - usually flax seed, and I usually fall asleep very quickly. The high carb trick is from camping tips.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:59 am
I found this post really helpful. I always have trouble sleeping. I have tried many of the things your post suggests to no avail. (Cutting out caffiene, doing something else until I feel tired, etc.)
I think my problem is that I am a worrier and don’t always resolve things I am worried about before bed.
I don’t think I am going to stop worrying but trying to put some of my worries to bed first may help me fall asleep and sleep better myself.
Thanks for the great tip !
July 7th, 2008 at 7:39 am
Thank You! I /suppose/ some of these could help me, so I’ll try them to tonight, and if they work, I’ll post again :3
July 9th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Kaze - I hope that some of these ideas work for you. Please do let us know about your experience!
July 14th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Figuring out the cause of your sleeplessness is brilliant….because once you know exactly what’s wrong, then you have a better chance of dealing with it. Thanks for that tip!
I love the idea of keeping a notebook and pen by your bed…….as a writer, the wee hours are a great time to jot down some ideas if I’m not doing anything else anyway.
And the baby picture is SO cute…oh my gosh….
July 17th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Hey Laurie!
The hard part is accepting that I can’t go back to sleep. But once I do and then address whatever the problem is, then I’m on my way back to sleep.
The worst thing for me is if I have chocolate in the evening, I usually wake up in the middle of the night, since I’m so sensitive to caffeine.
chocolate? sleep? hmmm. Sometimes it’s a hard choice!
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:22 am
Hi.
I found that the more I feel good about myself, the more I take action and be active in my life, then the more I get up early.
I used to live a life without a purpose, and I was feeling lack of energy, and i was always waking up late, going to work late, and going to bed late, wasting my time watching TV or surfing the net without a true purpose.
The time I started to feel better about myself, and take more action in my life, i started to spend my time better, and wake up early.
September 5th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
lots of sex
October 1st, 2008 at 11:42 am
I have always had anxiety and panic attacks during the day but now they have wanned and I fall asleep fast but always wake up at 3 or 4 AM and hear my heart pounding and can’t get back to sleep. Anyone have any suggestions?
October 1st, 2008 at 4:29 pm
@Marlene B - my suggestion - eliminate physical causes such as caffiene and alcohol, etc. Then get to the root of what may be on your mind. Start writing down all the things that are on your mind and then start listing ways to handle them. Then the next day start taking small steps towards making things better. Good luck!!
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:26 pm
@Tra - I’ve heard that can work well too.
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I have JUST learned how to shut my mind off so I can sleep at night. That and when my husband snores I just kick him awake! lol!
November 18th, 2008 at 6:43 am
The writing idea, as many have already said, is a damn good one. Also, I just found out (perhaps stupidly) that smoking before bedtime is a big no-no if you want to get to sleep.
The two best points from the comments above have to be these:
- going to bed at a set time and waking up early. I only do this because I work early in the mornings. However, my employer in halls knew I didn’t wake up for morning lectures, so we agreed to put my shifts there. Means I can’t always have a night out but I do go to lectures, instead of sleeping through them.
- feeling good about yourself. Honest to God, it’s true that if you feel better in yourself, or you have had a productive day, makes sleep so much easier.
Hope my 2p was useful!
December 17th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Hah… I’m awake and paranoid right now.
I’ll try the mantra, as well as starting a diary…
Thank you. I really hope this works.
This is the socond night of many I fear to come.
):
December 19th, 2008 at 10:59 am
I’ve been awake for over three days with intervals of three to four hours sleep. I feel very restless during the night. I’ll definitely try these suggestions.
December 29th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
@ Eugenia - wishing you success with your sleep!
December 29th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
@Gil - good luck to you for good sleep.
December 31st, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Thanks, Sully. Things haven’t been going as planned though.
I’ll eventually work it out I guess.
:/ a young gal like me shouldn’t be having sleeping problems!!! (Well, worries that cause the problems so badly anyway.)
January 11th, 2009 at 1:16 am
I can’t sleep and I am so dreadfully sleepy! I feel like an animated corpse, it is hard to move my body, it is somewhat numb and I get this quite often. I want to sleep but as soon as I lay down my heart races, I feel like I am dying, I can’t sleep! so I wake up, I try to walk around but my mind is drifty and I feel like I am being tortured. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I need to die just to end the sleeplessness. I can’t find anything online that relates to it, what is wrong with me???
January 14th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
@Biztastic - sounds serious. I would advise to see your doctor first.
Other things to consider:
is something bothering you? If so, address it.
do you take in drugs such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or others? If so, cut them out of your day and see if that helps.
Do you get enough exercise and de-stress time? If not, begin to do so.
I hope this helps.
Wishing you all the best.
January 18th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Thanks for this writeup. I will try to incorparate as many tips as I can in my daily routines.
January 18th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
I hope you wont have to go to the emergency room.
I know these conditions can be so stressful, enough to consider various options but please hold strong and try some of the mental exercise mentioned above.
Sometimes I just want to scream myself.
February 8th, 2009 at 4:23 am
I do this everyday 7 days a week an I still can’t sleep.Got anymore advice?
February 12th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
What if I can’t sleep for days?
May 12th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I have not been able to sleep for the past week, so i got up and walked around the house, then went to the basement and fell asleep quickly
May 12th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Im 18 years old & i used to have nights were i lay in bed thinking without being able to fall asleep.
Even though i was really tired i still would not be able to sleep =(
Now its seems to be getting wrose =(
I dont want to try pills because of symptoms & because what if someone breaks in or something and i cant wake up.
Is there anything else that can put me to sleep?
May 16th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
@Kristy - address things on each level:
1. Mentally - Face, address, and find solutions to anything that may be on your mind. Write it down to get it out of your mind.
2. Physically - limit stimulants, get exercise everyday, (if you can’t fit in exercise during the day and you can’t sleep, do it at night!), address any physical pain/ailments.
3. Relaxation - after completing steps 1 & 2, then try some relaxation techniques.
Relax and don’t panic. Don’t try. Just say to yourself that it’s ok even if you don’t fall asleep. Even by just laying in bed you are getting rest. Sleep will come eventually. Each time your mind wanders, repeat the phrase “Empty the Mind.”
Good luck!
May 16th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
@pickles - congrats! sometimes a location change is just the trick! Probably took the pressure off of having to fall asleep.
May 17th, 2009 at 4:28 am
oh, i really need a cure for my insomnia,
i hope the pen and note technique works, going to try it tonight btw,
ty the author =)
May 31st, 2009 at 2:32 am
I really like this, and I’m trying the pen and paper thing with my labtop will it work?:)
June 2nd, 2009 at 10:59 pm
I can sleep but i can’t sleep at a certain time. I usually go to bed at 11:00 since I have to study but I wanna go to sleep at 10:00 now but I always end up sleeping at 11:00! Any tip? :heart:
June 6th, 2009 at 10:55 am
@Olivia - to change your “fall asleep time” you will need to change something else as well such as your “wake up time” or add more activity/exercise to your day to be more tired earlier. Also try to eliminate any caffeine after lunch time (coffee, tea, chocolate) Good luck!!
June 6th, 2009 at 11:17 am
@Izzy - good luck!!!
June 6th, 2009 at 11:57 am
@garyL - wishing you all the best. You will get there. Go easy on yourself. No pressure. Sleep will come. Good luck