Getting To Know You

One of the best ways to improve and deepen a relationship is mutual understanding. What’s the best way to achieve this? Asking questions, really listening, and then sharing your stories too. I originally developed this idea as a way to grow your relationship with your child, and then it occurred to me that this communication game could benefit all relationships. How well do you really know your child, spouse, mate, or friend? Sometimes we take our closest relationships for granted. This game provides the spark to create a richer relationship!

What follows is a game you can “play” with another person to learn more about each other, have a few laughs and deepen your bonds. It can be “played” one-on-one or in a group. Some examples of where this could be beneficial:

  • Parents & Children
  • Parent & Child
  • Newly Dating Couples
  • Married Couples
  • 2 Friends or Group of Friends
  • Grandparents & Grandchildren
  • Parents and their Adult Children

The Relationship Game

Take turns asking and answering the questions below. There are no exact rules. The idea is to have fun mostly with just the conversation. You can modify questions for younger children. You can introduce drawing or painting, singing or charades. You could throw a bean bag back and forth each time you do a new question? You can do this standing, sitting, or walking. It can be played inside, outside or over the phone. It’s not a competitive game. It’s a game of fun, warmth, and relationship building.

Print out the questions below. (OR CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD FREE PDF OF The Relationship Game) You can either take turns asking questions you like from the list or you can randomly choose numbers, whatever works for you. If other questions follow naturally, all the better. Let the conversation flow! Let us know how you modify the game for more fun!

The Questions (for any age – feel free to modify)

  1. What is your favorite color?
  2. Who do you admire most?
  3. Who is your best friend?
  4. What is your funniest habit?
  5. What do you dislike/hate?
  6. What was your favorite dream ever?
  7. What was your scariest dream ever?
  8. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? What would you talk about?
  9. Have you ever dreamed you could fly?
  10. What is your favorite smell?
  11. What is your favorite song?
  12. What do you like to do when you’re bored?
  13. What’s your favorite adventure you’ve been on?
  14. What are you most scared of?
  15. If you could live anywhere and bring anyone you want, where would you live?
  16. What place are you keen to visit? Far away and nearby.
  17. What are you most proud of?
  18. Did/Do you have an imaginary friend? Tell us more.
  19. What is your favorite holiday? Why?
  20. What is your favorite holiday memory?
  21. What was the best and worst day of your life?
  22. What is your favorite food? Least favorite?
  23. What is your favorite word? Least favorite?
  24. How do you express your creativity?
  25. Where do you believe we come from before birth?
  26. Where do you believe we go after death?
  27. What is something that always makes you laugh?
  28. What person always makes you laugh?
  29. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
  30. What would be the consequences if you got your wish?
  31. Do you collect or live simply? Explain.
  32. What drives you crazy?
  33. What makes you smile?
  34. What do you know about your heritage? Grandparents and back.
  35. Do you have a favorite story from your family history?
  36. What’s the most shocking thing you ever did?
  37. What would you like to have a “do-over” on?
  38. What is your favorite story to tell?
  39. What’s your favorite animal? Why?
  40. What is your favorite season? Why?
  41. What is your favorite hobby?
  42. What is your favorite thing to do on the weekends?
  43. What one thing do you want to change in yourself?
  44. When did you feel most alone?
  45. When did you feel most happy?
  46. What do you do to cheer yourself up?
  47. With whom would you like to trade places for a day?
  48. What makes you mad?
  49. Do you want to have children?
  50. What’s your favorite thing you own?
  51. What do you wish you could do?
  52. What are the colors of the numbers 1-10? Letters?
  53. What are you afraid of?
  54. What would your dream house be like?
  55. Do you believe in angels?
  56. Are you ticklish?
  57. What is your favorite place?
  58. What’s your favorite place in nature?
  59. Which do you like better: hot or cold?
  60. What was your favorite Halloween costume?
  61. What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?
  62. What is your favorite memory from high school? college? grade school?
  63. What makes you sad?
  64. What does your name mean? Why did your parents choose it?
  65. What are your favorite clothes?
  66. Who is your favorite person to talk to? Why?
  67. What’s your favorite hiding place?
  68. What do you want to be when you grow up?
  69. What do you want people to remember you for?
  70. What is your most annoying habit (to others)?
  71. In your most difficult relationship, what makes it so?
  72. How do you show compassion?
  73. What are you always curious to learn more about?
  74. Whom do you miss?
  75. What do you like to teach?
  76. What is your favorite gadget?
  77. What do you like to write about?
  78. What is your favorite “bad” thing to do?
  79. What is your favorite movie?
  80. Favorite book?
  81. Favorite band? Song?
  82. Do you like to go camping?
  83. What fascinates you?
  84. What makes you special?

Questions Especially (but not exclusively) for Young Children

  1. Do you remember being born?
  2. What’s your favorite story about when you were a baby?
  3. What’s your favorite game?
  4. Who is your favorite hero?
  5. Who is the worst villain?
  6. What can you do better than mommy, daddy or sibling?
  7. What are you really good at?
  8. If you could have any pet, which one would you choose?
  9. If you have a child someday, what would you like to give to him/her?
  10. What’s your favorite thing to cook with mommy/daddy?
  11. What color are your eyes?
  12. What color are you inside?
  13. What word do you think is really funny?
  14. What do you like to draw/paint?
  15. What songs do you like to sing?
  16. What is your favorite book/story?
  17. Can you play music? How?
  18. Where were you before you were born?
  19. Why is the sky blue?
  20. Why is there day and night?
  21. What is mommy/daddy really good at?
  22. Whom do you like to cuddle and kiss?
  23. Where do fruits and vegetables come from? How?
  24. If you were King/Queen of the house, what would you change? Rules, things, etc?
  25. What wish would you ask of the wishing star?
  26. How do you make people smile?
  27. How do you make people laugh?
  28. Is there anything special you can do with your body? (jumping, dancing, funny faces, etc)
  29. What do you hope never happens?
  30. What do you think is scary?
  31. What do you notice when you go outside your house?
  32. Which do you like better, sand or snow? Why?
  33. What’s the scariest animal?
  34. If you could be any animal, which would you choose? Why? What would you do?
  35. Do you have any secrets to tell?
  36. What is something you do every day?
  37. Can you name all the people in your family? Extended family too.
  38. What toy would you like to make?
  39. What color is a smile?
  40. What’s your favorite bug?
  41. How do you know when you are tired?
  42. How do you know when you are hungry?
  43. What games do like to play when you’re alone?
  44. Can you tell if an apple is good by how it looks on the outside?
  45. What’s the funniest looking fruit or vegetable?
  46. What are the morning sounds you hear?
  47. What are the night sounds you hear?
  48. What is your favorite park?
  49. What do you like to do at the park?
  50. What’s your favorite thing to do at the beach?
  51. Can you see underwater?
  52. How does a fish breathe?
  53. Can you make a rhyme? Can you add a tune to it?
  54. Which do you like better: the woods, the beach, mountains, field, etc?
  55. What’s your favorite thing to do in summer? Winter?
  56. What was life like in the old days?
  57. Tell me about the dinosaurs.
  58. Tell me about your brothers/sisters/cousins/friends?
  59. What’s your favorite baby animal?
  60. Do you ever fight? With whom? Why? How?
  61. How do you show love?
  62. How do you help someone who is sad/hurt/sick?
  63. What ways do you help out with chores?
  64. What does mommy/daddy/grandpa/grandma always tell you not to do?
  65. Did you ever have a hard day? Why?
  66. What is the most fun?
  67. What is sooo funny?
  68. What is your favorite thing to feel?
  69. What rules do you get to make?
  70. What is a star?
  71. What is the moon? Why is it there?
  72. What mysteries do you want to know?
  73. What mysteries have you solved?
  74. Did you ever track an animals footprints? Tell me more.
  75. What’s your favorite game?
  76. What do you always do before bed?
  77. Describe yourself. Looks, type of person.

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Please Share!

What are your favorite questions? What’s your favorite modification for this game? All comments big and small are very welcomed!

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Comments

  1. 1
    Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker
    July 20th, 2007 at 2:16 am

    I have grown children and grandchildren coming to visit in August. These questions can be good conversation starters. Thanks.

  2. 2
    Magazine online
    July 20th, 2007 at 8:18 am

    A biiig list, to print and keep.

  3. 3
    UK phone cards
    July 20th, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    Nice collection of questions for all ages — some of which might never come up in ordinary conversation.

    Questions like these not only help to understand others, but sometimes we can be surprised by our own answers!

  4. 4
    Virginia Greg
    July 21st, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    I love the “who is the worst villian” question. The right answer FYI, is Voldemort.

  5. 5
    agentsully
    July 22nd, 2007 at 8:00 pm

    Patricia – so glad they’ll be useful!

    Magazine – thanks!

    TJ – I like that aspect too. I was surprised at some of my own answers.

    Virginia – that’s a good one!

  6. 6
    agentsully
    July 24th, 2007 at 11:42 pm

    Hey Everyone, Just wanted to add a little on how we play this game.

    Take any board game, dice and play pieces. The goal becomes to get around the board first which will simply be based on luck. But on each persons turn they have to answer 1 or more questions. It’s such a great family game.

    Please share how you implement it!

  7. 7
    Brandon
    August 7th, 2007 at 1:16 am

    great list :)

    I’ll show my wife and print it off.

  8. 8
    Andre Datenrettung
    August 13th, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    I tried this game with my teenage kids and I can tell you it was INTENSE! Wow! We really got closer togeather!

  9. 9
    Auctionjunkie
    August 15th, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    Those are great. I linked to them on my blog. :)

  10. 10
    Stephen
    August 20th, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    My wife and I keep a little journal that we write notes back and forth to each other in. I am going to print this out and copy them into that journal, so we can share the answers. Thanks!

  11. 11
    JB
    September 1st, 2007 at 12:04 pm

    great list. something in there for everyone. i have linked to them on my blog. just brilliant. :)

  12. 13
    Alessio
    September 12th, 2007 at 10:18 am

    Very nice post

  13. 14
    Tony - Roma
    September 30th, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    very good conversation topics! , I’ll play with my wife..

  14. 15
    Jerad Kaliher
    October 11th, 2007 at 1:58 am

    What a great list of questions. It’s funny that we expect to find the ‘perfect person’ in our lives and never stop to ask any questions that really might make a major difference in a relationship.

    I wish there was a list of questions like this this that would be required before getting serious with someone.

  15. 16
    Consumer Information Toy And Game
    October 13th, 2007 at 10:47 am

    Where was this blog a year ago? Great article (me That Will Improve Any Relationship)! Can you believe I was searching for Consumer Information Toy And Game when I fond this post Saturday.

  16. 17
    agentsully
    October 16th, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    Thank you everyone! I appreciate your comments and encouragement very much!! Hope to keep hearing from you all!

  17. 18
    Jonathon Spring
    October 27th, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    Very nice idea! I will definately try this out when I get the next chance ;)

  18. 19
    Elizabeth Harrington
    November 2nd, 2007 at 10:16 am

    This is really intense and a lot of fun!! I’m enjoying every aspect of lifelearningtoday.com. What a GREAT website!!

    Thanks for all of your efforts!

    **Smiles

  19. 20
    Blinkdir
    November 2nd, 2007 at 6:05 pm

    Great Idea! Have to try this out

  20. 21
    mp3
    November 7th, 2007 at 4:33 pm

    All need these ideas to make reliable relations.great post thanks.

  21. 22
    Robinson Go
    November 10th, 2007 at 11:38 am

    I’ve thought of an extra idea for this, how about writing these on some 2″ by 3″ cards and you can actually make them into some sort of game!

  22. 23
    Dallas Office Space
    November 12th, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    Awesome List! I’ll share this great post with my wife.

  23. 24
    Dermot
    November 22nd, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    What a great article, you certainly put a lot of effore into geting those lists up! Thanks

  24. 26
    Call
    November 26th, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    Great List! Now nobody can say that have no topic to talk about with someone else!

  25. 27
    Chess Openings Guru
    December 9th, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    The best part about these questions is not necessarily the answers to them, but the conversations that ensue… you can end up actually having a real conversation with your child about life!

  26. 28
    Sam
    December 14th, 2007 at 11:03 am

    Thanks for sharing this – I copied the questions right away and I’m gonna play it with my sister this Sunday I think, it’s her birthday. :)

  27. 29
    Komik
    January 10th, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Just saw this post, I think the list should be more refined… For example “Do you like to go camping?” isn’t that much needed..

  28. 30
    phone cards
    February 4th, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    This game is a favorite of my extended family at Sunday dinner. We have a big jar full of questions like these. Someone picks one and then we all answer. Lots of fun! One that was asked yesterday was “If you could be an Disney character, who would you be and why?”

  29. 31
    ringle
    February 5th, 2008 at 9:15 am

    I love it. I’ll have to try this with my children because they’re still young and impressionable (in elementary school) and I think this type of bonding at an early age could provide a great dialog ith them for the future.

  30. 32
    Lyrics
    February 5th, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    Nice collection of questions for all ages — some of which might never come up in ordinary conversation.

  31. 33
    Online Budgeting Expert
    February 6th, 2008 at 1:51 am

    @Komik, I think what you say may be true, but the principle still works. Questions like these are still a great way to have some interesting discussions with your family.

  32. 36
    Stephanie Daniels
    April 1st, 2008 at 11:46 am

    Great conversation starting questions for new or even any relationship.

  33. 37
    Glen
    May 1st, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    Wow…this is defo going into the bookmarks.

    Excellent questions…thanks. :)

  34. 38
    Dorph
    May 19th, 2008 at 7:26 am

    Really great idea, I am off to visit my brother at the end of may whom I havn’t seen for 4 years. When I will be meeting my 3 yr old niece for the first time, this will be a great way for us to get to know each other whilst she is having fun playing a game!

    Thank you

  35. 39
    agentsully
    May 21st, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    @Dorph – Good luck. I’m sure you’ll have fun with it! Let us know any funny answers you get! :)

  36. 40
    Bluetooth
    July 7th, 2008 at 5:32 am

    This is an amazing way to build a strong relationship indeed! Wow what a post-truly praiseworthy. Communication is really a root of any relationship for sure. Thanks for sharing this great knowledge.

  37. 41
    Meghan
    July 24th, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    I love asking people questions. This would be great game to play with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Find out who they really are!

    I also love being asked questions! =)

  38. 42
    agentsully
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    @Meghan – that’s is a superb way to use these questions! That and with little kids is fun too!

  39. 43
    Tom
    August 29th, 2008 at 1:05 am

    Great game! Definitely a lot of good questions there. I really have trouble answering questions like this. It’s hard for me to pick the “best” answer…

  40. 44
    Planet Lotto
    November 23rd, 2008 at 7:17 am

    Thanks aqlot, great questions. nice pic hehe ;-)

  41. 45
    Jill
    March 7th, 2009 at 9:00 am

    I love this game!I would love to try this to all my loved ones. to deepen your mutual understanding is a quality attitude towards achieving a better relationship.

  42. 47
    Farrukh
    June 4th, 2009 at 8:49 am

    i never knew somebody could’ve thought of the similar game.

    well i actually got the idea from the game truth&dare, i just modified it to truth/truth. so each take turns and ask question.

    i am amazed that somebody out there who thought of the same thing.

    it is really a great game to know someone as well as giving opportunity to others to know you better.

  43. 48
    agentsully
    June 6th, 2009 at 10:49 am

    @Farrukh – that’s interesting. I love playing this game with family. It’s amazing how many things you don’t know about the people closest to you!

  44. 50
    Starshine
    August 11th, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    My boyfriend and I began dating 3 days before semester ended. We have been parted for the entire summer due to jobs in our hometowns, which are 8 hours apart. Throughout the summer we have been trading off asking questions to one another in order to get to know one another better. Today was my turn, I asked “If you could take me anywhere in the universe, where would we go?” Each question must be answered by both parties each day. He responded with Saturn, but no reason as to why. I answered, “I would take you to Saturn, there, we would dance on its rings.”
    Over 3 months of questions and you begin to wonder what else to ask. This site was very helpful in allowing me to figure out some questions to ask that we hadn’t asked yet.
    Thank you

  45. 51
    agentsully
    August 22nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    @Starshine -Wow! That’s so cool! Hopefully your idea will spark some fun for other people as they try it too!

  46. 52
    JT
    March 16th, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    It also helps if you answer these questions as yourself…and then the person whom you will be asking. That way you both can find out about eachother better and find out what the others aspect on you is as well.

    Hope this adds some flavor to the Q’s and A’s!

  47. 53
    Pink Laptops
    July 27th, 2010 at 8:59 am

    A nice list and really thoughtful questions. I would just like to put forward golf as a game that could improve any relationship. Let the big dog eat!

  48. 54
    agentsully
    August 2nd, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Thanks Pink. Certainly lots of time for conversation during golf! What is the reference to big dog?

  49. 55
    AgentSully
    October 24th, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    Good point, JT. Thanks!

  50. 56
    Tabsie
    August 6th, 2011 at 12:10 am

    LOL..looks like u did a hard work to gather those questions..

    I would to say thank you, I’ll ask some of your questions to my children..hope it works :)

  51. 57
    Heather
    August 13th, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    I’m going to use the questions for a getting to know you game with my high school students. Great resource.

  52. 58
    AgentSully
    August 14th, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    Awesome Heather! Glad to know it!

  53. 59
    George Brown
    March 1st, 2012 at 7:42 am

    You know these questions helped me a lot with my son. I always felt like we didnt get along and i felt a bit awkword with him but this gave me something to talk about with him. It was very fun. It felt like we had bonded after a very long time. thank you veyr much

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