Like many people, I spend a great deal of my life trying to control outcomes. I want to get my work done well and on time. I want to be the best parent so my child will be happy, appreciate the value of hard work, be kind, develop good character, be safe, healthy and so on. I want to keep on top of developments in my field. I want to keep myself healthy. We just moved, so I wanted to make sure everything went smooth. If we go on an outing I try to remember everything the family will need while we are out. There’s a lot of work and stress involved in trying to control all these things in life. It’s good to work hard and to try to make life the best it can be for you and your family.
And then there are times when it is best to Turn Control Over to a power beyond yourself.
When to Turn It Over
- When you’ve done all you can.
- When circumstances are out of your control.
- When you are tired and exhausted.
- When you’re taking on more than you need to, especially a lot of little things that are not your real priorties.
Turn It Over to Whom?
- Turn It Over to God
- Turn It Over to Fate
- Turn It Over to the Universe
- Turn It Over to Science
- Turn it Over to Other People
Allow yourself to be comforted by a belief that good will prevail in the end. Expect the best. Know that you can handle anything that comes your way. Take each day, and each moment one at a time. Truly. Try to live just in this moment. A good book to check out is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. If you’ve done all you can and you can no longer influence the outcome, then let it go. If you’re trying to control too many little things and it’s wearing you out, focus just on what’s really important, and let go of the rest. Put it in a higher power’s hands. What have you got to lose? Only worry. It’s not about giving up or not trying anymore, but allowing ourselves to let go of our grip of control when it doesn’t serve us well.
Stop Trying to Control Everything
How do you do this?
- Imagine a higher power that cares about you. (If you reject this, ask yourself why you do and what do you have to lose by trying?)
- Imagine your intentions carrying good results your way.
- Believe in good outcomes. Meditate on this and then imagine actually handing over your worries to this higher power. You can do this in combination with a Meditation Nap.
- Let go of fear. Allow your body to rest and relax. As the body goes, so goes the mind. Release your muscle tension and you can release the tension in your mind.
- With your eyes closed, try a series of tensing and then releasing of your muscles. Start with the face, eyes, jaws, neck, then upper back, arms, hands & fingers, lower back, abdomen, legs, and feet.
- After doing this either rest if it’s night time or if it’s during the day the best thing might be to focus on other work that you can control and that needs to be done. Or if you can afford to do it, take some time off with something fun to distract your mind, further cementing the habit of letting go. For workaholics it can be a great lesson to learn that the world doesn’t fall apart when you take some time off. Go ahead. Give yourself permission to feel good.
Feel the Relief
If you are truly letting go, you should feel a sense of relief and also a sense of release as your muscles begin to let go of tension. Where do you feel the release? Your jaw? Neck? Shoulders? Your mind? You may feel it in your heart. And don’t be surprised if when you let go that you feel a cry coming on. That’s good. That’s part of the release. Let it out and you will feel much better. The thing with letting go is that it is tricky – the task is essentially to try “not trying” – and it can also be fleeting. One moment you’ve got it, you’re relaxed. And the next, you’re clinging to control again, worrying. But letting go is a habit that can be developed and strengthened. Take your time. Be easy on yourself. Be kind to yourself. Believe in good outcomes, even if it means going through a challenge to get there. You can do it!
Wishing you good luck and peace of mind!
Please share how you let go of control! All comments big and small are very welcomed!
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