I was just recently sick with a stomach virus. Not the worst I ever had, but still awful enough. My mother came and stayed with me. I felt so sick and vulnerable, so I was so grateful for her presence.We live in the same house and you know what they say about 2 cooks and 1 kitchen. It is true.
We argue more than I like and more than I should.
I feel like being sick was intended to send me a message that life is too short to fight. I need to let go of my anger, aggressiveness. I need to let go of my irritability. It is a choice.
Instead of anger, I should take deep breaths, take a break when tired, walk away from heated or aggravating situations, and then try to cultivate loving kindness in my heart toward my motherâ€¦or anyone for that matter. (donâ€™t we all experience difficulties at work, in the supermarket, with spouses, friends, children, and on and on?)
I need to find compassion for the person who brought me into this world and who taught me so well and loved me so well. I need to have compassion for this person who has her own weaknesses and vulnerabilities just like me.
When I fight with her I see her as strong over me. But really she is probably tired like me. She has disappointments, sadness, loneliness, and sickness at times too. I need to give up judging her and find compassion for her like I would for a small child. Weâ€™re all still children underneath.
Giving up judging will free me from the chronic irritability inside of me. I know this is easy to say now, but I am making a commitment to this.
The reading that inspired me towards this is Pema Chodronâ€™s audiobook called â€œGetting Unstuck.â€? You can check it out on Amazon here: Getting Unstuck: Breaking Your Habitual Patterns & Encountering Naked Reality