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Do Your Emotions Control You?

I’ve learned recently by paying attention to my body, that how I feel on any given day has a lot to do with the mysterious chemical soup inside my body. Some of it I have control over, such as the food I eat or whether I’ve gotten enough sleep, but there is much I don’t have control over. Hormones and other brain chemicals may make me feel any number of things such as sad, aggravated, loving, happy, content, hungry, in need of affection, in need of alone time, quiet, gregarious, and so on.

The key here is that these feelings are not triggered by EVENTS. They are triggered by internal chemicals. (Events can trigger feelings too, but I’m talking about waking up with a particular feeling and with no event triggering it.)

So what happens to a lot of us if we wake up feeling sad, for instance? What I have noticed is that we tend to FIND an event or circumstance to plug-in to that emotion. “Why do I feel this way? Oh yeah, I don’t have a boyfriend.� But yesterday you were happy to be single and independent.

The problem with plugging in an event or circumstance into every feeling we have is it doesn’t allow the emotion to just be and then pass along. We often prolong emotions by doing this. Now if it is a positive emotion then maybe that’s ok.

So what is the answer?

If you wake up with a negative emotion or even if it strikes you mid-afternoon, consider first whether it could be from your internal chemistry. Maybe you’re tired or hungry or both. Maybe certain hormones are on an upswing or downswing. If so, take a brief break – even five minutes- to close your eyes, breathe deeply and calm your mind with either visualization or a simple mantra.

This can also save you from making a relationship mistake. Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend is really not a match for you and you know it. You procrastinate about breaking up and wait for the next flood of good emotions to hit, thus proving to yourself that it is the right thing to give this person another chance. If someone does not mesh well with your values in life, then save yourself some heartache down the line by breaking it off and finding someone who is right for you.

Recognize that the negative emotion will pass. Just find a way to take a break or promise yourself a rest as soon as you are able. Don’t dig yourself into a deeper hole by piling events and circumstances onto a chemically triggered emotion.

If your emotion does relate to an event or circumstance, ask yourself it might be exacerbated by internal chemicals. If so, wait to take action if you can. If not, then identify the problem, brainstorm solutions and breakdown the best solution into chunks that you can complete bit by bit.

What do you think? Click any platform below to comment or read other comments.

9 Responses to Do Your Emotions Control You?

  1. Brandon August 7, 2007 at 1:18 am #

    I do a pretty good job with controlling mine, I do need to let go more often.

    Btw, just wanted to give you props on the blog, you haven’t had it up long but from what I’ve seen, you have some great information posted.
    Good job 🙂

  2. Andly September 10, 2007 at 8:00 am #

    yes, my emotions control me.
    I have to do a lot of work to control my emotions.

    Thanks

  3. Kahn November 29, 2007 at 6:59 am #

    My emotions control me a lot. Sometimes I don’t want to do the dishes, but I have to – but i end up skipping it. Perfect example of how my emotions and feelings override what I should do and often what I want to do in my life.

  4. Auto Loan Guy December 14, 2007 at 7:01 pm #

    I think as human beings we let our emotions control us to an extent. You have to check yourself when you are going to react in a negative manner based on emotion. Some people have an easy time doing that, while others are ticking time bombs… I would say it’s a combination of stress, emotions, and inner-turmoil. Those that do personal development and get over their past and work through problems are much less likely to let their emotions control their thought process, whereas you may be more vulnerable if you have insecurities.

  5. Bollywood December 27, 2007 at 11:49 pm #

    Have a cup of coffee with friend and talk openly about issue. It will surely go away quick.

  6. Thomas March 12, 2008 at 5:01 am #

    Hi,
    I want to give some comment to here. talk about emotions, i thing its good to follow emotions. By some condition that you thing its worthy to follow.

    Anyway thanks for share and wrote.

    ~Thomas

  7. Sublimeprince57 November 3, 2008 at 10:28 am #

    This is a very good blog. appreciate the opportunity to discuss the issue of losing control of your emotions. My post will be long because this my first one and I need to get this off of my mind.

    I am involved with a person that I can now see that I have given some control over my emotions. I actually find myself fighting against this issue with her. I feel that she is attempting to gain some type of control over my emotional and mental life. She even seems to be a part of my brain. The more I fight it, the more we have emotional skirmishes. It frustrates me to no end. She has a tendancy to say things to me that stirs up negative emotions. When it happens, I feel as if I am being drawn into some type of trap where my emotional reactions are being used against me. At that point, I feel that I have to defend myself, which makes me display negative emotions. Presently, the only thing that helps me is to feel open and free to express my true deep positive emotional feelings for her. When I do this, she generally, “indirectly”, rejects me. Especially when I make a “mistake” in her point of view. She takes the mistake (no matter how small) and continuously hits me over the head with it. I feel that she is trying to emotionally break me. These “mistakes” are generally normal mistakes a person would make when they learning how to love someone. I don’t feel that she is making the same effort. She makes very little effort at all and does not make any verbal relationship commitments. She seems to think that she is doing everything perfectly, but she is not. I think that she is playing a “an experienced” set of mind games with me. Now it seems that I am emotionally “acting” because I am demanding that these mind games discontinue. I need to re-gain control as soon as possible.

    Does this sound familiar to anyone?

  8. Frank January 11, 2009 at 4:59 pm #

    if you don’t mind can u please write to me an answer

    you see i am 17 and my girlfriend is 16 and to be honest i really beileve i love her but i just can’t feel it when we started to talk we became each others central thoughts and for the past 5 or 6 months she’s been the constant thing on my mind and we’ve been together for 3 months 3 weeks and 6 days and to be honest i was really head over heels for her from the begining but she would slowy do things that would hurt me not trying to hurt me but just by the way she is and honestly i know that me and her are similiar in a way but were both very difficult and complex people were diffrent in a lot of ways aswell but their’s always been a strong connection to us people often said we’d makea good couple before we got together and she passed thru what I’m passing thru were she was sure she didn’t have any feelings for me and u see to be honest i was positive i loved her but i went looking around the internet and it created a lot of doubt cause they talk about puppy love or rebound love and all that and it gets to me it makes me look at my relationship and say maybe it’s cause I’m to young or maybe i rushed things exaggerated em but see one thing is in almost all my past relationships or anyone i like’d i did the same thing show’d a little intrest then just gave up but in this relationship I’ve been fighting myself and emotions to stay with her for about a month now i was sure i should just break up with her but something in me still tells me their’s hope can i see the love in the relationship again? can i feel it again? i don’t wanna listin to the “break up” and the puppy love stuff cause i know i love her their’s just a lot of doubt and numbness in me can u give me your honest answer mam?

  9. agentsully January 14, 2009 at 11:49 pm #

    @Frank – Is there a problem in your relationship? If not, carry on. If there is a problem, then identify it and take the action that you know you should take. If you find yourself having anxiety over it, you’re probably not being honest with yourself about something because it might involve a difficult decision. Try writing things down. It makes finding solutions easier than just thinking things over and over again. I hope this helps.

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